Home is where...

After returning to Bangalore, I had to think long and hard about the meaning of home, and where that is for me. While visiting California over the holidays, it was great to see all my friends and family. I do really miss them when I am here in Bangalore. On the other hand, our house was rented out, we were staying in a hotel (except those days when staying with my mom). We also were driving rented cars. So all in all, it didn't really feel like being "home".

In the airplane on the way back, it occurred to me that we were returning "home". After all, we have our own house here in Bangalore--albeit rented for 2 years. We have our daily routines, for me going to work, for Maya going to school, for Cindy her charity work, Ari friends & volunteering, etc... But more than that, we have the friendly faces in the neighborhood around us like the construction workers, or the pharmacist where I go to get my monthly refills. He always greets me with a smile, and even remembers my name-though he spells it Brayan, when he writes out the 'bill'. The barber knows me, and even if they are full up at 8:30 on Sunday morning, I can still get a haircut in relatively short time. (Yes I went on Sunday morning at 8:30, wondering if they would be open that early or if I would be taking a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood. They had 10 chairs in operation, but fortunately no line yet.) And of course there is Manju. He always has a smile in the mornings when he comes and rings the doorbell for the key, and every night he asks "what time sir" and when I say "8 o'clock" he says, "yes, thank you sir" with a smile. And it is genuine. The thing that strikes both Cindy and me about Bangalore, is the friendliness, but not faked, genuine, of the people.
Lahlita too makes this feel like home. She was so excited to see us when we were there on that saturday morning, even though she hadn't planned any breakfast for us as she was expecting us only in the evening. She was almost crestfallen that she hadn't gotten something for us to eat. Still she managed to whip something up quickly. She doesn't do this only because she feels it is her job, but she really enjoys it. And she is especially happy when we like her cooking, which is always. I have had to stay home from work sick a couple of days this week. She has constantly been telling me to take it easy. I should be resting. I shouldn't do work if I'm sick. I should be eating something good for the cold, or specially having some of her ginger tea concoction--which I did and it really helped. She is so happy to be working for us, and likes to take care of us, and we are absolutely thrilled to have her work for us.
As an aside, when we moved here, I thought it would be difficult to have household staff--especially someone who is working in the house 6 days a week. But she fits right in with the family, and though we've had to make small concessions to her being here with us, the joy she brings, and the genuine warmth of her working style has made it delightful.

But then there are still all the things I miss about "Home":

• Having a fire in the fireplace on a cold and rainy night (it's usually warm when it rains here).
  
• Being able to prune my roses in the back yard.
• The relative quiet. Here in Bangalore, there is always noise. Yes I missed it when I was in CA, but now I do find the cement mixers going 7 days a week a bit much.
• Driving myself- it is nice to get out and just go once in a while, without having to negotiate overtime on a sunday or holiday.
  
• Being able to get out into the wilderness for a hike or walk without making a days effort of it.
• The Golden Gate Bridge
• Good wine
  
• Friends
• And FAMILY-all of them, the noisy ones, the quiet ones, the older ones, the young ones, the tall ones, and the short ones. Yes I really miss my family.

In the end, not knowing where I'll end up over time. Whether I'll get to return to the Bay Area--I sure hope so, or if I'll end up somehwere else. I think I can make a home anywhere, but "home" will really be where the special people in my life are. I'm just glad that some of them are here with me in Bangalore, and that I do get to go back to CA and see the rest of them, if not too often.

20 Jan-- I wrote this several days ago. Today we get to go out for dinner to celebrate my birthday, and the inaguration of Obama--it'll be just going on around dinner time for us. Tomorrow we go to a celebration party for Obama at one of the big hotels here. Last friday we had fun with some new friends (parents from Maya's new school). Cindy and I left about 1am, not quite realizing how late it was till we started walking home. The nice part is they are about 15 mins walk from us-- a lovely Dutch/Thai couple. There were two other couples there too, one from the US, the other Australian/Russian. Anyways lots of fun. Got to go though, I am working today.